December 05, 2012

Love and Support - Patching together what we learn along the way....


The time of year came around again for someone very special to me to arrive in England. For a short time only my brother takes a vacation from San Francisco to sunny and not so sunny Whitstable to hang out with some Brits and catch up with friends and family.

We start talking about family as we stand in the Turner Contemporary Gallery leaning on the balcony looking out to sea. A meaningful moment in Margate, I didn’t see it coming that’s for sure. It must have been Turner himself shining light down onto the conversation!!

It was wonderful to be telling my brother about the early steps I was taking in starting a business and share the excitement with him. Here was someone I knew would support me all the way and if there’s one thing I've learnt in the past six months, however strong we are, we all need support some time or another. How we show our love and support to people comes in many ways.

So love (support), how do we break it down? For now I just want to share the words of Dr. Gary Chapman, with a touch of my own on it all.

We often moan about not getting enough, giving too much, not being appreciated etc etc. Dr. Gary Chapman believes we can break down love into these 5 acts of giving. From this it is thought as humans we primarily give two and need to receive two of the below.

Take a look…

  • Words of Affirmation
    Sometimes we just need to hear we are doing things well! "You look great... your food tastes fab!" These words build peoples' self-image and confidence.
  • Quality Time
    Some people believe that being together, doing things together and focusing in on one another is the best way to show love.
  • Gifts
    It is universal in human cultures to give gifts. They don't have to be expensive to send a powerful message of love.
  • Acts of Service
    Discovering how you can best do something for a friend using your time and creativity is precious. These acts of service like cooking, babysitting, helping decorate, etc are sometimes worth more than any gift you can buy.
  • Physical Touch
    Sometimes just stroking ones back, holding hands, or a kiss on the cheek can be all one needs. It costs nothing.

Now asks yourself the following questions

  • How do I express love to others?
  • What do I complain about the most?
  • What do I request most often?

After a little thinking I most definitely need; Words of Affirmation and Physical touch. What you give, of course, changes according to who you’re with but primarily I think I give; Acts of Service and Physical Touch.

For me today, it was nice to give some honest thought to times I have felt unappreciated. Then be very open and aware to the above. What we need as people and what we give as people can vary so much.  How very different we all are is an ever-changing process and at the start of this new and exciting journey I remind myself to be aware of myself and ‘patch’ together all that I’m learning along the way.




Logic doesn’t Make Magic, Heart does | Painted and Patched October 27 2011 at 01:10 AM

[…] heart. I have to admit too, usually I need rather a lot of recognition from other as I mentioned in a post about what we need as humans. Right now in my life though, things feel different, I don’t […]

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